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RUBY52-8
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1995-12-29
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2KB
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53 lines
Copyright 1995(c)
HI-HO, HI-HO
A Ruby D. Begonia Column
By Del Freeman
"What are you doing?" asked Del.
"Filling out employment forms for my new job," said Ruby.
"What job?" asked Del.
"Any job, so long as it's with the government," said Ruby.
"Are you infiltrating?" asked Del.
"Nah, mama. I'm joinin' the system. I'm becomin' a solid
citizen, gettin' a job, working for the uncle."
"Sure and I'm gonna get a navel ring," said Del.
"I hope nobody mistakes it for one a' them rings you pull to
make toys talk," Ruby said sincerely.
"It's not exactly going to be seen by a crowd, Ruby, but how
considerate of you to mention that," said Del. "Back to this mole
operation..."
"It's no mole thing. I want to work for the uncle," said Ruby.
"You don't want to work to reach the next chocolate-covered
cherry," said Del. "What is this?"
"I'm goin' to Hawaii," said Ruby.
"To work? I want that job," said Del.
"Sort of. I got some buds is going to Hawaii and so'm I. I
ain't got to be in quarantine or pay no air fare, cause I'm
virtual. I'll just follow 'em."
"I thought you were going to work for the government," said
Del.
"Yeah. That's why," said Ruby.
Unsure whether this was the why it was Ruby wanted to work for
the government or the why she would be both going to work and to
Hawaii, Del waited.
"See, the government benefits are great but them people don't
work a lot. They get vacations and get paid and then they get more
vacations and get paid. That thing where they pay people not work
is the government's way of tightening up on the budget. Everybody
up there in Washington thinks this is a perfectly normal employment
practice and I say: 'conform.' Do not be an anarchist. Go with the
flow. So, I'm going to Hawaii."
"Do you plan to even report for this work?" asked Del.
"Haw!" said Ruby. "They told me not to. I reckon they'll just
mail me a check. Forward it, would you?"
"Aloha," said Del, wishing she were virtual and could still
wear stiletto heels with fishnets without having her thighs spasm
when she stood up.
"V - A - C - A - T-I-O-N," sang Ruby. "Anybody seen my nose
clip?"
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